Last night I gave in and had a turkey sandwich from that popular national sandwich chain. We were kind of stuck with noplace to stay and parked our car in a Walmart lot to sleep for the night. At around 4AM I woke up with the worst indigestion. A sudden, terrifying succession of realizations:
The god damn turkey sandwich was about to give me diarrhea for real.
And Walmart was closed. Meaning their bathroom was closed.
Fuck.
So, I headed toward a gas station down the road that I hoped had a public restroom. Thankfully, it did. For a while I sat there feeling like, uh, shit. Then, mid painful bowel movement, a strange woman barged in because the lock wasn't working. She looked at me for a few moments and didn't say a word.
"I have known the indignity of 4AM Walmart parking lot diarrhea," I told myself.
Then, that familiar question: what is my life??? What is it about bad experiences with toilets that brings me to question all that had led me to that point? Meeting Nick...falling in love...going on the road trip...that turkey sandwich...and then this.
dude you're like the 3rd person I know to have had some sort of life epiphany while on the can and then blogged about it.
ReplyDeleteI'm sensing a new blog post topic!