had a job interview today; didn't go too well. i guess that's just as well because it was a crappy retail job.  i've been applying to jobs i would really loathe to do, simply because i need/want money. as soon as the place called me i felt depressed.  the thought of working retail again sent me into ptsd flashbacks, reliving the worst moments of previous jobs.  still, even if the job isn't for me i 1. need money and 2. can't help but feel bad when i don't do well at something.  afterward, i got into my car genuinely missing my tutoring job and feeling angsty about The System. i put on a playlist of my most obscure favorite japanese oldies. ha, whatever, i don't fit into that cookie cutter mall mold anyway.

:'(